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Oct25 Written by:Kayle 10/25/2008 6:33 AM Today we had a spiritual retreat for the faculty and staff of the college. It was a really nice day where the speaker spoke about dying with Christ, rising with Christ and being his representatives on this earth.
Tonight Mat and I were watching a movie before bed and we heard gunshots at our neighbor's house. Normally they will fire off a few shots to let everyone know they have guns, but tonight was different. As several shots continued to be fired, it became clear that something was going on. Then we began to hear gunshots on the other side of our house and behind our house. Apparently our neighbors behind us had a break-in. A armed robber broke into the window of their little girl's room and the family fired back. The neighbors joined them in firing, but the robbers got away in their white twin cab truck. And once again, I'm faced with this situation all over again.
Why does this situation keep arising? I've been trying to move on after the robbery, but then a week later I see the get away car driving slowly around our neighborhood, a few days after that there is a suspicious car parked and waiting on our road, then last night there is a shoot out in our neighborhood. It's hard to move on when these things keep occurring all around us. I've come to realize that these things are still happening because God is trying to break down my heart: the parts of my heart that are not willing to surrender to him; the parts of my heart that don't really trust in his protection over us, the parts of my heart that say I don't want to share in the sufferings of Christ.. What does it mean to share in the sufferings of Christ? It means dying to myself: dying to my own desires and wants, dying to the fact that I trust in my efforts for my security, and dying to my own plans for my life. Of course I don't want to suffer or face hardships, but I need to get to a point of saying, "Christ, if you are calling me here and that means enduring suffering, sorrow or hardship, then may it be well with my soul." I can honestly say that I'm not there yet. But that's where I need to be.
I've called up an older Christian woman to talk through all of this with on Monday. Hopefully we can work through some of my thoughts and struggles together then. Tags: 3 comments so far...
Re: Reoccurring Events
Dear Kayle,
I stumbled on your blog when I was looking up a few people whose names I could remember from Groombrige in Harare (Helene Brand - Stambolie)....A lot of thoughts ran through my mind reading your blog everything from amazement at your dedication to your beliefs, at your sacrifice for what you are doing to hoping that you and your family survive your journey and get out unscathed.
Some of what you wrote also worried me enough that I felt it compelled to leave a note with another view so please forgive the intrusion of a complete stranger... I am under the philosophy that life is a gift and that one is obligated to protect and cherish it, this includes your own. I can understand your striving to break from material desires and can accept your self sacrifice for your faith but I don't think this needs to be at the expense of life or limb. So while you look to trust in your security, I would say that God helps those who help themselves, so look after your own security too. In my world you have an obligation to the gift of life that you were given in yourself and to the life that you were entrusted in your baby (and a very cute baby by the way:-). You can do more good in this world alive than dead.
From another corner of the globe, I wish you and yours well.
p.s. do tell helene hello if she is still around.
By Alex on
11/11/2008 9:54 PM
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Re: Reoccurring Events
Dear Kayle,
I stumbled on your blog when I was looking up a few people whose names I could remember from Groombridge in Harare (Helene Brand - Stambolie)....A lot of thoughts ran through my mind reading your blog everything from amazement at your dedication to your beliefs, at your sacrifice for what you are doing to hoping that you and your family survive your journey and get out unscathed.
Some of what you wrote also worried me enough that I felt it compelled to leave a note with another view so please forgive the intrusion of a complete stranger... I am under the philosophy that life is a gift and that one is obligated to protect and cherish it, this includes your own. I can understand your striving to break from material desires and can accept your self sacrifice for your faith but I don't think this needs to be at the expense of life or limb. So while you look to trust in your security, I would say that God helps those who help themselves, so look after your own security too. In my world you have an obligation to the gift of life that you were given in yourself and to the life that you were entrusted in your baby (and a very cute baby by the way:-). You can do more good in this world alive than dead.
From another corner of the globe, I wish you and yours well.
p.s. do tell helene hello if she is still around.
By Alex on
11/11/2008 9:55 PM
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Re: Reoccurring Events
Thanks so much, Alex, for reading our blog and for your comments! Yes, you are right on many things! It is a question we have asked ourselves and continue to ask--do we stay or go? Certainly if things got REALLY bad here (civil war or something like that), we'd certainly go! It is hard to make decisions, though, when things aren't at that dire stage yet where the answer is obvious. We still think at this point, it is worthwhile for us to stay here and continue doing what we're doing (which, by the way, we work with John Stambolie, Helene's husband, at the theological college where we teach! Small world!). But of course that decision may have to be re-evaluated later down the line. Cheers!
Kayle
By Kayle on
2/13/2009 11:25 AM
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